Bill Maher New Rules

Maher, say what you will about him, hits shit right on way too often. Check out these great "New Rules" from his last episode.



"If [Obama] puts a moon roof in the Presidential limo. He's not naming himself fuhrer. He's trying to get the smell of stupidity out of the seats."

Welcome Back, Andy Samberg

RY RITCHIE:

All Sarah Palin impersonations aside, this spot-on send-up of Mark Wahlberg is my pick for the funniest bit on SNL this week, and the end to a brutal cold streak for Mr. Samberg. Watch for yourself below:

She's Baaaaacccckkkk!

Tina Fey's role as Sarah Palin on SNL recently has, easily, been one of the funniest things on TV. And since the rise of the Daily Show and The Colbert Report, as reinstalled SNL as a America's premiere place for political mockery. If you were out last night and missed it, take a gander on us.

True Blood Review

KRISTIN PARKER-STONE:

I admit it.

That show about the liar/murderer/drug-dealer/mob boss/total douche-monkey who is inexplicably likable?

I love that shit. I eat that shit up. I like my male protagonists felonious and cruel, like the escapist version of that asshole boyfriend you know better then to have in real life, even though he's dangerous and manipulative and exciting.

And Alan Ball's True Blood promised a world full of people who by their very nature (undead) are the types your psychiatrist strongly suggests keeping a safe distance from.

So it's really too bad that most of them are unlikable.

True Blood takes place in an alternative version of New Orleans, two years after the world's Vampires have decided to "come out of the coffin" and just start hanging out in bars and shit like it’s no big thing. The action mostly revolves around Sookie Stackhouse (Anna Paquin), an unfortunately named waitress who also happens to be telepathic, and the events surrounding her first encounter with a Vampire, Bill Compton (Stephan Moyer, of Fuck, Where Do I Know That Guy From? Fame). The series is based on The Southern Vampire Mysteries by Charlaine Harris, and while I respect Alan Ball's intention to remain true to the source material, I respectfully assert that that was a big fucking mistake.

For a few months prior to True Blood's premiere, HBO aired a clever little advertising segment: a fictional broadcast news investigation of the events surrounding the initial emergence of the Vampires into the Human World. And it was a fascinating cross section: a Dana Perino-type Vampire rights lobbyist who remains reasonable, charming, and logic-bound in the face of her monstrous condition, a misguided young woman who expounds on the joys of sex with the undead, as well as the Japanese scientist responsible for accidentally inventing “TruBlood”, the blood replacement beverage responsible for bringing Vampires out of the shadows. And while these personalities were interesting, it was the tone that strung them together cohesively: This is the world we live in. Everything is the same, except that now, we have vampires. The Call Is Coming From Inside the House!

And I strongly believe that would have been the magic formula: give us interesting people from various places within the world we know, and make them potentially horrifically dangerous sometime in the near future. And they were so close.

Instead, none of the characters from this promo are significantly used, if used at all. True to the source material, we are stuck in a bayou world so insular, you wonder which door at the bar where Sookie works might turn out to be one of the sound stage’s exits. Anna Paquin’s accent is about as subtle as being fisted by a panda, and she is one of the better performances. The gay people are really gay. The red necks are racist and ignorant. Even Sookie’s sweet elderly grandmother, Adele, (Lois Smith) while charming in an ‘Oh, Old People!’ kind of way, seems detached from the vampire situation in a way that makes me wonder if she’s doing double duty on the Oxycontin.

As a result, what we have is a very limited and truly inaccessible view of this world. We have mountains of bad character behavior (including one successful murder, and another decent attempt), but it's random and thoughtless; the antagonists have all the depth of a Koopa Trooper. And the clincher is that Vampires are not responsible for ANY of violence that occurs in the pilot.

Despite all this, I’ll give it another shot on Sunday. There’s enough camp here where it makes me think they might just take the plunge and go for the humor, full out Ann Rice style, and True Blood could benefit from not taking itself so seriously. Anna Paquin, despite not being very good as Sookie, is strangely interesting playing herself. And despite dialogue that makes me close my eyes in embarrassment at points, I’m very interested to see where they take Stephen Moyer’s vampire, who is, despite a very crowded cast, the only vampire we have yet to meet. Albeit underused, he’s darkly charming in a way that makes me not want to blame him for the source material just yet. 

And also, it’s Alan Ball. There’s something to be said for brand loyalty, even if it means sitting through vampires randomly moving in double-time for no apparent reason.

Provisional Grade: C

True Blood airs on HBO on Sunday at 9/8 CST, and re-run throughout the week. Did not premiere as well as John from Cincinnati, and we all know how that went, so catch it now while you can.

"THE CONVERSATION" TV SERIES

ANDY:

Variety is reporting that AMC is in negotiations to develop a new original series based on the 1974 film "The Conversation":

Producer Tony Krantz, who has attempted to turn "The Conversation" into a TV vehicle for more than a decade, has retained scribes Christopher McQuarrie ("The Usual Suspects") and Erik Jendresen ("Band of Brothers") to pen a new script.

The TV project will be set in the early 1970s -- emulating the time period of the original thriller -- and center on electronic surveillance expert Harry Caul, played in the film by Gene Hackman.

"It gives us an opportunity to look back at the 1970s through the filter of 2009," Krantz said. "The issues of privacy and individuality, and issues of spying and listening, are as relevant now as they've ever been. This is the perfect vehicle to tell those stories."

Perfect vehicle, huh? I wonder if they said the same thing about that "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" TV show too.

OK... As much as I hate to admit it, this has the small potential to become a really cool show if they just use the film's premise as a jumping off point and quickly go into a new sort of direction. So far, I've liked AMC's two other series so we'll have to see if lightning can strike a third time.

I kinda doubt it though.